Wednesday, March 2, 2016

5 Ways To Win The Heart Of An Unconventional Woman

Today, I am challenged to a prompt: 5 ways to win your heart. Perhaps I should've done this in February... This is starting out awfully lovey dovey!


But all sunshine and butterflies aside, I am so not a flowers and chocolates kind of girl; a Hepburn in a world of Kardashians if you will. I prefer chips over chocolates, and I'd much rather have a bouquet of french fries rather than a bouquet of roses (for those who don't know me well, that's actually not a joke). So I suppose if I had one tip to give to someone pursuing the heart of a young woman like me...do everything opposite of what this society tells you to do. I don't like when people comment on my looks before my mind and I probably won't enjoy your cheesy pick-up lines, but it's not like I'm un-pursuable.

So you probably know the "chivalrous" ways to attract a girl like me. Open doors. Pull her chair out when she sits down. Stand when she stands. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk. Always. Be. On. Time. And NEVER check that phone when she's talking to you. But aside from the things men already know (whether they do them or not...), there are a few unconventional ways to attract an unconventional woman.

1) Writing. 
We don't care if you're not good at it! We aren't looking for a love letter from Fitzgerald. This probably originated from my mom leaving notes in my lunch box every day, but I love notes. Handwritten. A text in the middle of the day doesn't cut it. So leave a note on the counter. Send her a letter (in an actual envelope) just to say hi. It doesn't have to be carefully composed accompanying a gift with the intent of professing your love; she would simply rather know you thought about her enough to stop for a moment and let her know.

2) Quality Time. 
Dinner and a movie doesn't count. I mean sitting on the couch laughing your tails off. Playing board games, swinging at the park, and getting way too caught up in a round of charades. When she speaks, she doesn't just want to be heard; she wants to be listened to. When she starts to goof off and be crazy, she doesn't want you to watch her and laugh, she wants you get up and be crazy with her! Personally, I'm all about late-night deep discussions, daydreams, and Walmart runs at 2 a.m., and I want you to be up for them, too. Adventure is what we run on, so do your absolute best to not deny us of it.

3) Compliment, Compliment, Compliment.
From the moment I was born, I have fed on compliments. I'm fully aware that individuals in relationships sometimes need constructive criticism, but I am far more likely to take the criticism when I am aware of the things I do well. Does she look pretty? Tell her! Did she do something you appreciated? Tell her! Does she have a special talent you didn't know you couldn't live without? Tell her, tell her, tell her! Chances are, the more she feels like people notice the things she does, the more intelligent, talented, and beautiful she will feel.

4) Make It A Total Surprise. 
I truly have a love/hate relationship with surprises. I love them. I really do. But nothing drives me more insane than when someone says, "Hey I have a surprise for you!" and then won't tell me what it is. Because then, it's not a surprise! Anyone else ever seen the irony there?? When you intend to surprise a girl, don't tell her about the surprise. I thought this one was obvious but it has often come to my attention that it isn't. If you're going to surprise her, just do it. She'll only get crazy if you alert her of a surprise and then deny her the information that goes with it, and most guys already know... If you can avoid the crazy, avoid the crazy.

5) Make It Personal. 
One Valentine's Day, I received a book rather than flowers. It was a book I'd wanted for a long time, and I was so much more excited because he actually gave me something I wanted, rather than what society told him I wanted. My junior year of high school, I unlocked my car to find over 300 flyers stuffed inside, plaguing the entire interior. That's how I was asked to homecoming. My senior year, my prom date asked me to the dance by triggering my obsession with Aladdin, creating a "genie bottle" envelope with a letter inside reading "Princess... Grant my wish, and go to prom with me?" Let's be clear: I'm not dating any of these men today, but I certainly haven't forgotten them. These pursuits were personal. They were undoubtedly creative, but more than that, they demonstrated that these men knew me well. And that's the greatest form of flattery for me.

Unconventional girls are a lot of fun, but I won't deny...we're a lot of work. So my advice is: get to know your girl. Find out her obsessions, her fandoms, her ultimate pet-peeves, and then act accordingly. I promise you, she's not looking for a storybook prince charming. She's looking for her prince charming. And the more effort you put in (despite how stupid it makes you feel), the more exceptional you'll make her believe she is. And the more exceptional she believes she is, the more likely she'll be to pursue you in return.

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