Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Straighten Your Crown

As most of you know, the Beauty Distortion Ban is at its all time high on the blog because it's officially summer (aka...bikini season). However, I was scrolling through a fellow body positive blogger's Instagram account today, and discovered a quote I could not shake.


Let's read that again, shall we? I remember whose daughter I am, and I straighten my crown. 

We've all had those days. Those terrible awful days where we feel inadequate. Unloved. And unworthy. Each of those words alone can conjure an overwhelming sense of insecurity and failure. Beauty. Intelligence. Talent. Confidence. Kindness. Everything a woman is supposed to have. Everything we seem to fail at every single day. Yes, inadequate, unloved, and unworthy sound like much more accurate descriptors.

But they aren't. 

I remember having one of these days specifically. I had a failed a test. Not like a C in the midst of my usual A's. It was an F. A real F. A true 58%. That morning, I had woken up at the crack of dawn to register for my last few classes of my undergraduate track to find that three of them had already closed and I would be unable to graduate in time. We had WGI World Championships the same day and I was more nervous than I had been in my entire performance career. Keep in mind... I also struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and these series of events were not beneficial to my sanity. The littlest thing could have pushed me over the edge. And it did. It was my eyeliner. Yes, dear readers. After all that failure, I couldn't seem to get my eyeliner winged correctly for the performance and it drove me to a panic attack in the bathroom.

The moment we decide to straighten our crown is among the most important, courageous, and critical moments of our life. I'll never forget that day, kneeling by a toilet in a hotel bathroom, praying for God to fix it. To fix me. To fix everything; my test, my grades, my future, my confidence, and yes...my eyeliner. I remember whispering, "Sometimes it's like I can't do anything right, and you aren't even here, God! It feels like I'm so alone." And then I heard it; the faintest stirring in my overwhelmed heart. Remember who sends thoughts like that, Bethany. 

Of course. The angel of beauty, who had turned himself into the king of all demons out of jealousy of a woman. Ah yes, the devil. The angel named Lucifer who had been designated the role of reigning over all beauty on earth. He reigned over the bird's songs, the ocean's waves, and every other beautiful thing God had created. And then God created something more beautiful than all nature, more beautiful than all men, more beautiful than Lucifer himself. God created woman. And Lucifer couldn't stand it. 

Of course he will target us. He will target us any way he can possibly take us down! When we are reminded we are beautiful, he will tell us we aren't. When we are reminded we are intelligent, he will tell us we aren't. When we are reminded we are talented, or kind, or splendid, or enchanting, or captivating, he will tell us we aren't, and he will do everything in his power to make us believe it.

He can do a pretty good job, can't he? Of course.

But we can't let him.

I am starting a new segment of the Beauty Distortion Ban on the blog entitled Straighten Your Crown. Any post containing a confidence booster or personal story regarding the enchanting and captivating and unique beauty of a woman will be tagged on the blog with straighten your crown and will be shared on social media with the #StraightenYourCrown. We are women. We are the crown of all creation. Didn't we all have dreams of being a princess when we were little? Well now we are; the daughter of the King of all Kings. You are beautiful, you are loved, and you are not alone in your struggles.

So next time you have those dark days, and you feel inadequate, unloved, and unworthy, remember who sends those thoughts. Remember whose daughter you are, pick yourself up, dry your tears, and straighten your crown.

To share your own story of beauty distortion, objectification, self-confidence, email me at taxistotsandpolkadots@gmail.com or tag social media posts with #beautydistortionban and #straightenyourcrown. Let's do this thing together, beautiful. 

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